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JRDM Demo Disc 1

by Jesse River Dylan Merry

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1.
Look now upon our treasures here, they fashioned and defined us The charming motions we endear, they processed and refined us The very idols we revere, they are the same that blind us! And every year confirms this fear: the future is behind us A name with fame to reach household will never fail to find us We’re mesmerised (and so, controlled) by that which has designed us Our liberators from the mould eventually confined us! We’re bought and sold and now we’re told the future is behind us If all invention must compile from what mythos assigned us Then damn the imitated style of all that once maligned us So every thought is juvenile; there’s no need to remind us! Let crack a smile, for all the while the future is behind us.
2.
Yes, I am this way Changing without pause The way I am today Is different to what I was To this I can only say It's simply because It's better than being Just a body without feeling My notebook is all full I've scribbled on every page Any line you may pull May recite love or sweet rage And the words shall not dull They'll remain forever unaged Forever trapped in time Forever mine I'm ironing out the kink All ancient possessions sold All you must do is blink Suddenly I become old But then I stop and think What's so wrong with becoming old? If it makes my letter Read fluently and better So if you must be leaving Leave before I know There's no time for retrieving Any debts I may owe But should you leave believing That I failed to grow Hear the stories we have made They will never fade Bye bye Bye bye Bye bye
3.
This evening as the bats fly by My head, I pry the moon from sky As I have done before I need all of the extra light To illuminate a fright That might ignite a war I want only to see, not touch, The craters, I don’t ask for much Nonesuch won’t ask for more Except to send the answers back that nobody requires I crave, I rove, I gave my trove To put out all the fires All of these poets that you chose To document your life in prose Suppose they do it well But then who will preserve your odyssey When time erodes your modesty Your honesty unwell I’ll go and live inside a rhyme Written far behind our sweet time So I’m deaf to your spell For all the rivals envy spites it secretly admires I crave, I rove, I gave my trove To stoke all of the fires The cause behind every relapse That tempts us to collapse, Perhaps is best not known But a flash upon the reasons, then, For replicating failure when, Again, it is not shown Yet have you but one thought on this: A tonic for our bonds amiss; Dismiss the first stone thrown And all that we could ever want or have or know or be I crave, I rove I gave my trove For just one chance to see!
4.
The heads turn As I walk past I look towards them They twist away fast Start conversation It doesn't last And I feel a hundred pairs of eyes burning holes in the back of my skull Everyone wants to look at me but nobody wants to look me in the eye Everyone wants to look at me but nobody wants to look me in the eye Everyone wants to look my way but nobody will ever look me in the eye Somebody took me For a ride Said they adored me But they lied Now I live on the outside Of the outside Because the rebels and the punks and the freaks and the queers don't want to know me Because everyone wants to look at me but nobody wants to look me in the eye Everyone wants to look at me but nobody wants to look me in the eye Everyone wants to look my way but nobody will ever look me in the eye Suspicion arises They don't believe Me when I tell them I don't deceive But I resent no-one As I turn to leave I'm perfectly happy out here Where Everyone wants to look at me but nobody wants to look me in the eye Everyone wants to look at me but nobody wants to look me in the eye Everyone wants to look my way but nobody will ever look me In the eye
5.
"Novelette" 05:38
[EXPLICIT] Watching all the cunts go by The drunken dreg with his open fly The horny brat with a spark in her eye And the stillness between them, that's you Listening to the slurping of Guinness The working lady conducting business The ageing sage in his fading wiseness And the questions they all ask of you The freezing patrons with the aching feet Who cannot sit within the heat The empty tables with all the free seats Have been reserved for you I've long ceased, long ceased writing that novelette I never knew what it was for I'm closing, closing your tab and clearing your debt And I'm not selling to you anymore The stumbling juicehead who still wants more The soaked pub-crawler collapsed on the floor The hopeless troublemaker thrown out the door Was just ejected from you The 7-foot bouncer with machismo bare The pierced biker with the piercing glare The stoic veteran with a thousand-yard stare All step aside for you The lookalike students who think they're so clever Will betray their studies and do whatever It takes to please and they'll do it forever If it means just a word from you I'm pouring, pouring your succour down the sink I never knew what it was for I'm covering, covering up the canvas with black ink And I'm not painting you anymore The old gluttons never have their fill They were longing then, they are longing still Whether under the needle or over the hill They're all still thinking of you Following the worshippers walking in line Beneath dying stars that misalign And disorder the cosmos in order to shine Their ardent light upon you The distant but deafening cathedral bell chimes Signalling the death of my pathetic rhymes And the birth of so many unforgettable times As the world goes to bed with you I'm breaking, breaking my guitar and snapping the strings I never knew what it was for I'm taking, taking away the beauty from all things And I'm not looking for you anymore, anymore And I've long ceased, long ceased writing that novelette I never knew what it was for I'm changing, changing the covers on which you wept And I'm not singing to you No I'm not singing to you And I'm not singing to you anymore

about

I've been sitting on most of these recordings for years, a couple since 2017, waylaid from full album formulation as of yet but still whole in their own right. In mid-2017 I rushed out an EP in youthful haste, hypnotised by the excitement of the then-novel recording studio experience. Those tracks have since aged clumsily in my ears. These ones, on the other hand, have already beaten them without even being released anywhere, so here they are public at last. This is a preview; they will most likely appear again on future full-length albums.

credits

released October 15, 2023

All writing & composition by Jesse River Dylan Merry.
All instrumentation & vocals by Jesse River Dylan Merry.
Sound engineering & co-production by Peter May.
Recorded at MayB Studio, Pershore, 2017, 2021 & 2023.

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Jesse River Dylan Merry Worcester, UK

I am perfectly sane.

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